Thursday 3 March 2011

Belittling Curiosity

I feel as though I have just awoken.

Living my life as some idiot calling herself an Atheist when really, maybe I just wanted to piss people off. All along, the answer has been staring at me in the face everyday. the same beautiful picture that I spent my childhood thriving upon, that I've spent countless summers being immersed in the literature of, that I've asked endless questions about....The stars. The stars are on our side, Athiests.

I don't know how to even begin. All my life I have spent teetering on the edge, hungry to fall in, wanting needing to let go, but terrified because of what has been drilled into me. Into my mind, into my heart, into my soul. I love my parents, because they have instilled in me my love of curiosity, but they have also fed me fear of the lord in the bible. I never wanted to let go fully because I imagined that I was alone. That no other atheist felt, looked like me or wanted the same things I wanted: Knowledge, peace, understanding, patience, curiosity, and love. Everytime I had mentioned my atheism, in the past to someone else, I was put down like a sick dog, a pathetic insolent hooligan who was just trying ot get attention. They never asked me about my love of astronomy, or of the human condition, or my curiosity. And so I was fed this image of the typical atheist. Someone who I did not want to see when I looked at myself in the mirror. I tried everything to stray away from what I thought was wrong (i.e. the bible) while at the same time trying to cling on to any form of spirituality in order to not feel empty, not feel alone. When all along, I should have embraced those feelings and the others out there that speak my language, my thoughts, my curiosities. I rejected critianity, and clung on to Budhism, but I still never felt safe. I always felt anxious and always on the brink of going insane because every word and question that left my lips was shut down immediately not just by my parents, but by those in my life who I trust most.

I don't even know these people:




...and yet I feel like they are telling my secrets, and thoughts to the world. An atheist does not have to be the dumb idiot uneducated satan-loving goth that gets so often associated with the word, It just has to be.

Just be. You exist. You are made of star dust. You live. You die. Like an ant. Like a zebra. Like a human. Embrace it, and filfill your hunger for curiosity. do not shut it off or turn it down because the bible or the koran tell you it is irrelevant, a test, or sin. It is none of those things, it is beautiful. It is your brain, and neurons working avidly inside your young supple skin. Dont waste their energy, feed them. Learn. Love. And be Free.

You do not have to submit to allah because that is what is forced upon you by the hadith. You do not have to hide away your sexuality or love of equality because the bible says it is sin. As a very intelligent man by the name of Alex once told me, "You do not need a Religion to tell you not to kill eachother." It is inherant within us as human beings, as living, breathing creatures who feel pain, empathy, and fear. It is natural, and it is a part of life. Religion just gets in the way and leads to unnecessary outcomes and when looking at the middle east today, to violent and deplorable violantions of human rights. Atheism does not equal violence, just look at the statistics:

Compare the crime rates and even general violence of these Religiously dominated countires:

Iraq-97% Muslim
Saudi Arabia-100% Muslim
Afghanistan-99% Muslim
Columbia-93.5% Christian
Israel-76% Jewish/16% Muslim
and even
USA-78% Christian

With these largely Irreligious countries:

Sweden-85% Atheist/Agnostic
Norway-72% Atheist/Agnostic
Denmark- 80% Atheist/Agnostic
Japan- 84% Atheist/Agnostic


Anyway strangers, my next participant is about to come through the door now. Until next time. Remember to think.

Todays Tea: None-I've been at school since 9am and now I am going through withdrawals :(

Peace.
Mandy

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