Monday 28 March 2011

Half of life is making people go away

The other half is sleeping, apparently.


I am staying up WAY longer than I need to these days, and waking up disgustingly late. Especially since finals are fast approaching and anxiety ridden anger outbursts are slowly creeping up behind me. I can feel them.


I've realized that although the internet in its vast goodness is vastly good, it has made book reading and other forms of reading paper more and more difficult to do OR less and less likely, depending on how you look at it, and also if you read. And although I am aware people read on the internet, it hurts my damn eyes!!! And I am a lover of the simple life! (In a slightly related topic, I have consistently decided that any one of the vlogbrothers-http://www.youtube.com/user/vlogbrothers-is definitely for sure my soul mate, and I wish to meet them both and bask in the glory of their infinite wisdom and patience for acknowledging and distributing fascinating pieces of information).


But yes, the simple life-ideally one where long walks near quiet rivers and lush green grass with a black lab, and a cool person beside me talking about the wonders and horrors of the human condition, and also the empty yet unending unended-ness of the universe. A life where no one is preaching their shit religion or passing judgement on others because of their sexuality, profession, or personal choices. *sigh* I hope, hope, hope I can live long enough to see the world possibly take this beautiful turn into beauty.


And even though there are others who maybe think the way I do, I always feel indescribably alone and unsure. I think everything will change if I travel to a place like Alaska to finish my novel, that everything will change when I come back. That I'll suddenly stop equating money with a better life, and that I will stop getting upset at my beloved and wonderfully wonderful family members no matter what because they put up with me and all my strangeness for a very long time. My anti-social tendencies after all these years have remained partly due to shitty experiences with dumb ass gross people in the world, but also because I find that I only ever connect and enjoy being around a very small (almost insignificant) number of people. I mean I don't think its such a bad thing, but apparently if I don't go out and get shitfaced and surround myself with people ALL the time, I am not living up to my early 20s persona. I like to drink, but I prefer to drink with maybe one or two people, or while watching an old movie holding a glass of red wine. I don't mind socializing but I prefer not to. And I am totally comfortable with that, which more people may find even more strange. Honestly, delving into douglas adams or losing myself in some sort of wonderful book or film gives me more personal pleasure than a man ever did, or ever could. Trust me. And yet I am completely okay with this.


I was going to say other stuff like things and things about other things, but I'll sleep instead, but first leave you with the trailer to one of my favorite movies of all time, introduced to me by one of my favorite people of all time....Why? Because I can! And also because I recently started thinking about it, and remembered how beautifully wonderful, and great in all its greatness it actually is. If you will do nothing else today, ghosts reading my blog, watch this trailer, and then take a nap.


  What are the finer things in life.


Todays Tea: Sencha and matcha blend


GOODnight, and if you happen to come across my thoughts during a dream, remind them to wake me up early.

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